Sugar and Skulls: Rebel Skulls MC Book One Read online

  Dirk takes two big steps towards the man. The man thrashes around but it only tightens the noose around his neck. Dirk grabs his ankles and pulls him away from the door. The priest’s eyes bulge as his oxygen is cut away. “Any last words for him?” Dirk asks Jesse.

  With the slightest of movement, she shakes her head no, staring into her abuser’s face. Dirk jerks him lower as the priest fights for air. Until everything becomes still. The priest. Jesse. Dirk…myself.

  Tick. Tick. Tick.

  Jesse is the first to move. She pours the rest of the wine down her throat not stopping until the bottle is empty. She places it on the table and turns, walking out the back door without another look at the dead priest hanging from the door handle.

  Dirk nods his head towards the back door. “She isn’t driving. Take her to Dan’s. I’ll get someone to pick up your bike.”

  I start to walk away but he stops me. “Tie her up, Raffe.”

  “Dirk.”

  “I mean it. If she runs she will do something stupid. She’s in way over her head. This is proof. He isn’t the one that hurt Katie and we both know it. Jesse is about to hit rock bottom you need to be the cushion to her fall.”

  “Don’t worry. I know what it’s like to fall without one.” He pulls me into a hug. I breath him in. It’s been a long time since he touched me this intimately. Dirk has always been my rock. Now he will be hers.

  I jog to catch up with her. She is slowly making her way back to her rod, her eyes pointed heavenward. When I get beside her she doesn’t acknowledge my presence. Jesse’s lips are moving but no sound is coming out. She trips on a broken piece of concrete. I catch her before she hits the pavement.

  Her glassy eyes try to focus on my face. I pick her up and carry her the rest of the way to the car. I place her gently in passenger seat and then slide in beside her. She wants to argue but she doesn’t have it in her. She sighs and leans back against the seat as I pull away from the curb.

  When we get to Dan’s she looks out the window to his house before turning to stare at me. Tears are streaming down her face, blurring the lines between white and black, turning her face a shade of grey. I run my finger through the heavy makeup, following a tear down her cheek.

  “What do you see when you look at me?” she whispers.

  “I see a fellow survivor.”

  She blinks. Her long eyelashes flutter against her cheeks, sending another string of tears racing down her face.

  “What do they see?”

  They.

  Not him but they.

  I know exactly what she means. It’s something I’ve asked myself a million times.

  “They don’t see you at all,” I answer honestly.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Jesse

  ◆◆◆

  "They don’t see you at all,” Raffe says.

  They don’t see me at all.

  “Dirk and I are going to help you, Jesse. I’ve been where you are. It will get better,” he tells me.

  He said he saw a fellow survivor. Someone hurt him too. Who? I want to kill them. I want to kill all of them.

  “Let’s go in and get you cleaned up,” he coaxes gently.

  “I need to get back to Katie. I promised her.”

  “I know, sweetheart, but you can’t go back looking like this.” He points at my face.

  Oh shit.

  My hands fly to my cheeks. Oh, god. They’ve seen me as her.

  “Jesse, hey. Please don’t panic and run. You can shower and then we will get back to Katie. Everything is okay.”

  Once inside I go straight to the bathroom, I’m about to shut the door but he stops me. He shakes his head. “Leave it open a crack. I want to be able to hear you.”

  “There are no windows in the bathroom. It’s not like I can sneak out.”

  He leans against the door frame. “He told me to tie you up.”

  I take a step back.

  “I’m not going to, but you need to understand something, Jess. This is no longer something you are going to handle by yourself. Neither Dirk nor I are going to let you pretend tonight didn’t happen. That Jimmy didn’t happen.”

  “I’m not doing this,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

  He shakes his head, staring down at his boots. “Not now but you will.”

  I push on the door. He steps back into the hall. I don’t shut it all the way because I can’t stand here and argue with him all day. I need to get back to Katie. Katie is who I’m worried about, not myself.

  Turn the water on. Don’t think. Wash my face. Don’t think. Hair. Don’t think.

  Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.

  When I get back to Dan’s living room Dirk and Raffe both stand up.

  “We need to get on the road. Raffe is driving you,” Dirk orders.

  “I can drive myself.” I shove past him.

  He grabs me and spins me, so my back is pressed to his chest. His arms encircle me so tight I can’t move. “I’m all for choices. You can either let Raffe drive you or you can ride on the back of my bike. Choose.”

  My heart is galloping out of my chest. His breath is hot on my neck. His voice in my ear. It would be so easy to surrender. Surrender, my mind screams. But, that’s not who I am. I don’t need them. I don’t need him. I don’t.

  But, it would feel so good to turn in his arms. To burry myself into him. Let him take care of me.

  “What’s it going to be, Jesse?”

  “I’ll ride with Raffe, but I’m not talking.”

  Dirk releases me. Immediately I hate the loss of his strong arms.

  “One more thing. Where’s the photo?”

  “What photo?” I try to shove past him again, but he drags me close to him. He presses my head into his chest while his other hand presses against the small of my back. I squirm around, trying to break free.

  I still when I feel Raffe’s body heat against my backside. He begins to frisk me. I panic. Not because they scare me. Not because I don’t like the feel of their hands on me. I do. More than I should. But, because I’m terrified of how they will look at me once they see the photo of William and me.

  When the picture is slipped from my pocket I let out a sob. Dirk tightens his grip on me. His mouth presses against the top of my head. He places a kiss there. “I know everything feels out of control right now.” He pushes me back so he can look into my eyes. “It’s not. It just feels that way. Take a deep breath.” His mood ring eyes glide over my face. When he is satisfied I’m as calm as I’m going to get he lets go of me.

  My head drops when Raffe hands the photo to him. I’m so ashamed. He shoves it in his pocket. “We will talk about this later. Right now, we need to get you back to Katie and Bill.”

  “Please don’t show that to Bill,” I say quietly.

  “I won’t.” He places his hand at the small of my back and guides me out to the rod.

  Before I duck my head to get inside, I pause. “Or, Dan.”

  “I won’t show anyone, Jesse. I’m just going to hold onto it for you. I’ll give it back soon.”

  For most of the trip I lean my head on the door frame, watching Dirk’s headlight behind us in the side mirror. Raffe doesn’t push me to talk. Eighties rock plays quietly on the radio. Raffe taps his fingers against the wheel to each tune.

  “Dirk says we are going somewhere over spring break. I can’t leave Katie so I need you tell him I can’t go.”

  He doesn’t say anything. Raffe stares straight ahead at the road.

  “Raffe. I can’t go. You know this. Please make him understand.”

  Finally, his eyes leave the road. He glances at me before returning his gaze to the highway. “Jesse, this is going to sound crazy to you but I’m going to give you a piece of advice.”

  I nod. “Go ahead.”

  “Stop trying to think ahead. I know you’ve got a lot going on in your life and in your head, but you need to focus on the now.”

 
“I am but I have school. I have responsibilities.” I throw my hands up in the air.

  “Goddammit, Jesse,” he says, grinding his teeth. I’ve never seen Raffe angry before. “All you need to worry about is being there for Katie and your schoolwork. Everything else we will handle together.”

  “Together as in you, me and Dirk?” I scoff.

  “Yes.”

  I shake my head and pull my feet up on the seat, hugging my legs to my chest. “You have no idea how complicated my life is.”

  “No idea? I watched you almost kill a man tonight. I think I have a good idea of how complicated things are.”

  I have no argument for that.

  I’m used to doing things my way. Right or wrong. Raffe might know about this but he doesn’t know about the million other things I’m currently juggling.

  My phone rings. I glance at the screen. I answer it, turning away from Raffe. “Hey, what’s up?”

  “That guy just left. You know the one who dropped the picture of the little girl.”

  My heart drops into my stomach.

  “I followed him. You’re not going to believe this.”

  I sit up straighter in the seat. No. I know who it was. It was Gabriel. It had to be. The photos and Katie’s drawing prove it.

  “He went to your fucking aunt’s trailer.”

  “Who was it?”

  “It wasn’t Jimmy. He is a member of the Devils though. He was wearing their jacket.”

  I close my eyes, swallowing convulsively. Shit, a black jacket with a fucking cross logo on it. I was wrong about Gabriel.

  “You all right, sweetie?”

  “Yeah. Yeah. Call me the next time he shows up.”

  “Will do, Sugar.”

  Raffe’s head is spinning back and forth from me to the road as I hang up. “Everything okay?”

  “Is it ever?” I lay my head against the seat.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Dan

  ◆◆◆

  When one of the guys pulls up with Raffe’s bike on the trailer he is pulling I know something is wrong. I stop him at the door. “Where’s Raffe?”

  “Don’t know. Dirk called and asked me to pick up the bike, he didn’t elaborate on why and it’s not my job or desire to question anything that man tells me.”

  An hour later Raffe and Jesse show up, Raffe driving her rod. Dirk pulls in behind them. What the hell now?

  Dirk shakes his head at me before I get to them. I slow my steps. Jesse gets out. When she sees me, she wraps her arms around herself. I open my arms to her, and she quickly steps into them.

  “You good?”

  She shakes her head no.

  “Okay,” I say, then I say it again. “Okay.”

  The look on Raffe and Dirk’s faces tell me she’s definitely not okay.

  I place my arms around her and guide her inside. Katie comes running the minute we step inside. Immediately Jesse changes.

  “Come help us,” she grabs Jesse’s hand and drags her over to the table where Bill and she have been working on a puzzle all evening.

  Jesse laughs and lets the little girl pull her along. Bill watches them, his eyes never leaving his daughter. When she sits down next to him he drapes his arm over her shoulders and pulls her in, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

  She smiles at him. Not a hint of “not being okay” on her face. Dirk and Raffe stand next to me, taking in the scene.

  “What happened?”

  “We caught her in the midst of murdering a priest,” Dirk says.

  My head swings towards him. “What?”

  “Remember when I found Raffe in Los Angeles? I’m going to need the same amount of time with her. You going to help me get Bill to see this?”

  “Why was she trying to kill a priest? Please tell me she didn’t do it.”

  “I finished the job for her.”

  My head bounces back and forth between Raffe and Dirk. “What the hell are you two thinking?” I shove them into the conference room and close the door behind me.

  “Dan, this is her story to tell and she is never going to tell it if you don’t help me get some time with her.”

  “You tell me.”

  “No.” Dirk stands toe to toe with me. “I don’t even know the entirety, but I will and then if she chooses, you will hear it from her.”

  I push him in the chest sending him stumbling against a chair. He rights himself, glaring at me. “I’ve known her a hell of a lot longer than you, cousin,” I growl.

  He holds his hands up in front of him. “Dan, I’m not pretending that I know her better than you. That is exactly why it needs to be me. She wants you to see only what she wants to show you. She wants you to see her as the smart mouth, tough girl that hangs out at your shop. Not because she doesn’t trust you. But, because she loves you, man.”

  I drop into a chair. Three years ago, that smart mouth popped into my shop wanting a tattoo. Little did I know how important she would become to me. She’s my friend, my fellow artist, the daughter I never had.

  Dirk’s right. Jesse has been in fight or flight mode her entire life. She hasn’t noticed that there are people in her life who care about her, who will help her. She stomps around keeping people at bay with her sharp wit and wicked mouth. She’s used to fighting her battles alone, always hustling to stay ahead.

  Jesse needs to slow down and let herself heal.

  Dirk saved Raffe from self-destruction maybe he can save Jesse too.

  The thought both terrifies and gives me hope. I want to meet the whole Jesse. Is the girl that got left behind still there? Or, did she get buried while trying to survive this dog eat dog world.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Jesse

  ◆◆◆

  Everything is falling apart. Everything. Let’s just start with the fact that I had the wrong man killed. Gabriel wasn’t the one who hurt Katie. Now I have to kill someone else.

  “You want to see my treasure?” Katie squeals after she puts the last piece of the puzzle in place.

  “Treasure? You guys found it?” I ask, following her over to a box on the coffee table.

  My dad laughs. “Katie is a smarty pants. She was the one who figured out most of the clues I gave them.”

  I glance over my shoulder at him, smiling. She opens the box, shoving it in my face.

  “Oh, wow,” I gush over her newfound treasures. The box is full of candy, beaded necklaces, and a plastic tiara which she plucks out placing it on my head.

  She cups a hand over her mouth and leans in to whisper into my ear. “I told you your daddy lived in a castle and you are his princess.” She giggles, pulling back to look at me.

  “I’m too old to be a princess. How about you be the princess of the castle.” The tiara catches in my hair as I try to remove it before placing it on her head.

  She dips her head and rubs a finger under her nose, sniffling.

  “Hey, what’s wrong, sweetie?”

  Shyly she looks up at me then glances at my dad before turning her eyes back to me.

  “It’s okay. You can tell me anything remember?”

  “I don’t want to go back.”

  Pulling her onto my lap, I hug her tight. “I’m going to do my best to keep you safe, Katie. I’ll figure something out.”

  Ally, the little girl that Katie sat with at supper comes running down the hall. Her mom following close on her heals. I notice the mom bumps my dad with her hip as she passes him.

  “Do you want to sleep in a tent with me?” Ally asks, grabbing Katie’s hands and swinging them in the air.

  Katie jumps off my lap and turns to face me. “Can I?” she begs. She looks so adorable batting her eyelashes at me.

  Ally’s mom introduces herself to me. “Hey, I’m Candice.” She holds her hand out and I take it.

  “I’m Jesse,” I reply.

  “Everyone around here knows who you are. Bill has talked nonstop about you,” she offers me a kind smile. She glances at him. “Is it okay if
Katie joins us. A few of us are camping here this weekend. We have the tents set up by the lake. I’ll sleep in the tent with Katie and Ally.”

  Katie looks at me with pleading eyes.

  “Yeah, that’s cool,” I say. Candice pats my leg and walks over to chat with my dad. Katie and Ally squeal and jump up and down, hugging each other.

  I’m so happy that Katie found a friend. My eyes roam over to Candice, her and my dad are blatantly flirting with each other. Candice gives him a playful punch in the arm before calling for the girls.

  Katie gives me a big hug and then runs over to give my dad one.

  After they walk away my dad perches beside me on the couch. “Did you get all caught up on your homework?” he asks.

  At first I’m not sure what he’s talking about and then I remember my lie and…I’m about to lie to him again. “Yeah, all finished.” I snap my fingers and rise from the couch. “Shoot, I left my bookbag in the rod. I’m going to go grab it. I’ll be right back.”

  “Maybe we can watch a movie together or just talk tonight?” he asks, his eyes full of hope.

  My mind is racing, there is so much I need to do. I rub at my face. Did I get all the makeup off? My heart grips in terror as I think about the picture Dirk has in his possession. What if he shows my dad? What if he shows Dan? I spin around looking for them. They were all here a minute ago.

  “Jesse? Are you okay?” my dad places the back of his hand against my forehead.

  I can’t breathe.

  I nod and turn away from him. “I’ll be right back.”

  As I’m stumbling for the door, my dad’s eyes glued to my back I hear the guys come into the room. “Where’s Jess going,” Dan asks.

  Not waiting for his reply, I rush out into the cool night air. Quickly I make my way to Sylvia so she can take me away. Somewhere I can breathe. Oh god, I’m not going to make it. My hand grips at my chest. I finally make it to my rod. With shaky hands I try to open the door, but I’m too far gone. I slide to the ground, pulling up my knees, gasping for air.

  Dirk crouches down in front of me resting his inked hands on my knees. I try to stand but Raffe kneels at my side and pushes my head down gently between my knees. “Breathe, Jesse.”