Sugar and Skulls: Rebel Skulls MC Book One Page 19

  Nodding I roll on my side to face him. We stare at each other for a long time. This Dirk is different from the one I normally see. He dropped his mean. Maybe I can drop mine.

  “I can’t tell anymore.”

  “What can’t you tell?” he asks brushing my hair away from my face.

  “Who I can trust and who I can’t. Sometimes I think the world is after me. I don’t know what it is about me.”

  His eyes roam over my face. “It’s not you. It’s them. They are sick. You just happened to walk into their sights.” He rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. “You have a natural instinct, Jesse. Think about it. You knew to trust Dan. You knew your friend William was good, despite what that priest asked him to do to you. You knew, Jesse.” He turns back to me. “You know.”

  I sit up and hug my knees. “If I hadn’t met you that day in the school parking lot I don’t think I would have survived. There wouldn’t have been anything left of me for my father to find. Every time I had to do something hard, I thought of you.”

  Dirk swallows and turns his eyes back to the ceiling.

  “I keep trying to be mean, to be tough but I’m so tired.”

  “Then stop fighting. Let us take the wheel for a while. It doesn’t mean your weak.”

  They’ve already taken the wheel. I’m fighting just for the sake of fighting at this point. Dirk flicks his lip ring while waiting for a response. God he’s hot. I drag my eyes away from him. “Are you and Raffe taking care of me because of my dad? Because of the club?”

  He reaches for me, using my locked arms as leverage to pull himself to a sitting position. His eyes level with mine. “I don’t do anything I don’t want to. I want to take care of you.”

  I blink a few times trying to look away. There’s that funny feeling again. Like a moth to a flame I’m drawn to this man. “I don’t understand this…” I motion between the two of us.

  He smiles. “You were made for me, Jesse. The only woman in the world who is worthy of standing by my side. I knew it the minute you fell out of Dan’s window.”

  I turn my head away. “I didn’t fall. I climbed out gracefully.”

  “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

  Laughing I let my gaze fall over him again.

  “When you smile, it breaks through all this.” He motions over his dark ink. “It’s like feeling the warm summer sun after a long dark winter.”

  My laughter falls away as I study him. I’m having a hard time associating the words with the man. Words that don’t match the pictures on his body.

  “And…and Raffe?” I ask puzzled how we are all supposed to fit. I want them both. I know it’s strange…taboo. But, my heart wants them both.

  He drops his head, his dark hair falling in front of his face. “I don’t know, Jesse. This is new for me too.” Dirk takes a deep breath and faces me. “I like seeing him with you.” He falls back on the bed. “This is confusing. I just know that I want you both with me. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen you both at your purest form, vulnerable, and hurt. But, when you are together you both seem relaxed, happy.”

  “Partners in crime,” I tease.

  His eyebrow pops up. “Oh, the things I’m going to do to you…someday.”

  I bite my lip, wiggling on the bed. “Dirk, I’ve taken care of myself for a long time. I’m not a child. I don’t understand why we have to wait.”

  He sits up mirroring me. “We wait not because something magical will happen when you turn eighteen. We wait because it’s the right thing to do. You deserve to be waited for….no one else has done that for you, Jesse. I’m not just going to take from you. I’m going to woo you Jesse Miller.”

  Should I laugh or should I cry? His words hit me hard. He’s right. Everyone has just taken what they want from me. No one has worked for it, earned it. “Okay, scary tattoo man, let’s see what you got in the wooing department.”

  “Are you making fun of me?” he asks, his eyebrow hitting a forty-five-degree angle.

  “I am.” I lean over so that my nose is inches from his. “But, thank you.”

  Good news is I think it’s safe to drop the mean.

  Bad news is...come to think of it, I don’t have any bad news.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Jesse ~ 7 months later

  ◆◆◆

  Today is the day. I’m nervous, excited…I don’t know if I’ve ever been more anxious to begin a new day. Raffe and Dirk have been so sweet. Late night bike rides, lazy days by the lake, teasing…lots of teasing. My life may have been a shit show for a few years but finally I’m right where I belong.

  I get out of bed, stretching in front of my window. Just like every morning I find Katie and my dad down fishing. It’s become their thing. He asked me one day if it bothered me. It doesn’t. My dad and I missed times like that together, but it doesn’t mean Katie has too…or him for that matter.

  Candice and my dad announced a few months ago that they are getting married. Their wedding is only a few weeks away. I’m happy for him, for both of them. I like Candice. We’ve become friends. I wouldn’t say that it’s a mother daughter relationship but that’s okay. I’m learning that love comes in many forms.

  I graduated a few months ago. My dad threw a big bash here at the warehouse. I’m so lucky to have such a big family. I didn’t accept it at first. Some days I fought harder than others. Being on my own had become engrained in my very being.

  As I’m taking a shower I think about the last few months. The club has basically cut off all sources of income that the Desert Devils relied on. We’ve heard a lot of them left, joining other clubs. It’s just a small band now. We also decided that we couldn’t take them all out and risk Katie’s adoption. So, we let them live…except for one. The man that hurt Katie. Dirk took him out quietly. No one missed him.

  The guys haven’t let me step foot in Trap County. My dad did eventually let me call my guys and Thomas to explain that I had moved and would not be back.

  I miss three things about Trap County. Thomas, his dog Teddy, and Big Dan’s Tattoo shop.

  When I get downstairs for breakfast I’m a little disheartened. It’s empty. I try not to be disappointed. Maybe everyone is busy this morning.

  I make myself some toast and eggs before heading back up to my room.

  Still no one.

  I glance out my window. Dad and Katie are gone.

  Maybe no one knows it’s my birthday.

  That can’t be true. I tattooed it right on my dad’s chest.

  A knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts.

  “Hey, you want help me on a job today?” my dad asks, poking his head in the door.

  I sigh loudly before answering. “Yeah, sure.”

  He pats the door frame a few times. “Good deal. I’ll meet you at the truck. Dress comfortable.”

  I nod, fighting back stupid tears.

  It’s just my birthday. Just another ordinary day. I don’t know why I’m letting my emotions rule me. I’ve spent the last eight without anyone acknowledging it so, what’s the big deal. I didn’t sit on my pity pot then, today is no different.

  As I walk through the warehouse I search for any sign of Dirk or Raffe. Nothing. I didn’t specifically tell them when my birthday was. It hasn’t been something we’ve talked about much. We’ve been focused on getting to know each other. There have been times things have heated up between us, but they always pulled away before it got too far.

  My dad is waiting for me when I get to his truck. “Did you eat breakfast?” he asks.

  “Yeah.” I take one last glance around the yard for Dirk and Raffe.

  We drive over to the town I grew up in. It’s only about thirty minutes from the lake. I haven’t been here in years. My dad is chatting away about the changes he’s made to the club. He’s making everything legit. Not much illegal is going on anymore. Besides doing bike repair, the club has invested in real estate. Maybe that’s what we’re doing today, collecting rents.

&nb
sp; I search the streets for my grandparent’s old house. It’s sad I can’t even remember where it is, the town has changed so much. He pulls into a driveway. I stare through the windshield as my heart drops into my stomach.

  He shuts the engine off and turns towards me. “Your grandparents left you everything. It’s been in trust until you turned eighteen.” Slowly I drag my eyes from the house where I grew up, when they land on his he smiles. “Happy birthday, baby girl.”

  “I thought you forgot,” I say shyly.

  “I’ve spent every year wishing I were with you on this day. Today I am.” He reaches over and squeezes my hand.

  “So, there’s no job?”

  He laughs and shakes his head. “Want to go in?”

  “Yes, oh my god, yes.” I nod enthusiastically.

  We both get out and walk up the steps. As he is unlocking the door he tells me that he had a cleaning service come over after my grandparents passed and had them clean. He hired someone to keep an eye on it for me as well. They’ve kept up on the yard work and repairs.

  It’s a simple three-bedroom ranch style home with a big fenced in back yard. When we step inside I’m immediately thrown back to another time. It’s exactly like we left it. A sob escapes me as I stare at my grandparent’s recliners. My dad hugs me around the shoulders.

  I came home from school and thought they were asleep. When I couldn’t wake them, I ran back to school and told my teacher. I haven’t been back since that day. The suit lady picked me up at school and took me to my first foster home. I didn’t even get to pack my own things. She gathered what she thought I needed and that was that.

  I make my way to my bedroom, my dad following close behind. He stands in the doorway as I run my hand over everything. I grab my jewelry box off the dresser and sit down on the bed. When I open it the little ballerina twirls to life, the clang of musical notes filters out. My dad sits down next to me.

  With shaky hands I reach in and pull out my mom’s mood ring. I laugh as I stare at the cloudy color of the stone. I slip it on my finger, and it turns beautiful blue.

  “I remember that,” my dad says.

  I look at him. “Thank you for taking care of all of this for me.” I motion around the room.

  “It was the least I could do. I wish things could have been different.”

  “We have each other now. That’s all that matters.” I bite my bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

  He pulls me into a hug. “I love you so much, Jesse. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  “I can still live at the warehouse though, right?” I ask hesitantly.

  He laughs. “Yes. The warehouse will always be your home, even when you decide to leave and go out on your own.”

  I sit up straight. An idea popping in my head. “Why don’t you and Candice live here with the girls?”

  “Jesse, no. This is your place. Someday you will have a family of your own. Besides, Katie loves living in a castle.”

  “You’re right…about the castle part anyway. Katie does love it there.” I laugh lightly my mind drifting to Raffe and Dirk. I do want a family someday. How will that even work? For the first time I worry about our dynamic.

  “What’s wrong? I lost you there for a minute.” My dad tips my chin, studying my face for answers.

  I haven’t told my dad that my relationship with Raffe and Dirk goes beyond friendship. I know he likes to think of them as my uncles. What will he think? What will the world think?

  “Jesse?” he asks again.

  “Nothing, I’m just feeling a little melancholy I guess.”

  He gives me a gentle squeeze. My dad places the keys to the house in my hands.

  We spend the morning going through old photo albums. I show him the swing that grandpa tied in the tree in the backyard for me. He insists I sit, and he pushes me. It’s nice to share this with him.

  As I swing he tells me how my grandfather sent him letters each month. “I lived for those letters, Jess.”

  “Why didn’t they ever tell me about you?”

  “I murdered a man. They didn’t feel that was a quality they wanted in their granddaughter’s life. I don’t blame them. I’m sure if the roles had been reversed I would have done the same,” he answers thoughtfully.

  We lock up and he takes me to lunch.

  “This has been nice, dad. Thank you for everything,” I tell him buckling my seatbelt. My belly is so full I think I might need a nap.

  He grabs something out of the back before getting in. He sets the present on the seat between us as he slides in. “Now, I know this is a little late…but…”

  He picks it up and sets it on my lap. “How can it be late? Today is my birthday you know.”

  Tapping his finger over his tattoo he says, “I know, baby girl. You’ll see.”

  I rip the paper off carefully so that I don’t rip any of it. It’s wrapped in black paper with skulls that have bright pink bows on their heads. He sighs impatiently but let’s me go at my own pace. This is the first birthday present I’ve gotten since my tenth birthday. I’m going to savor it.

  When I take the lid off the box my heart stops. My hand flies to my mouth, tears filling my eyes. I turn to him. “How did you know?” I whisper, wondering if I’m dreaming.

  “The last letter your grandpa sent said you had been begging for roller skates for your birthday. He never got a chance to give you a pair.”

  I push the box to the floor and throw myself into his arms, crying for all the things I’ve lost and all that I’ve gained. “I love you, dad. Thank you!”

  He chuckles. “I didn’t know roller skates would make you so happy.”

  Leaning back, I stare into his handsome face. “You’ve made me the happiest girl in the world.”

  I slide back into my seat picking the box up. “They are even my size.”

  “Did you think I would buy you skates that didn’t fit.” He laughs, tugging at his beard. “You want to go try those bad boys out?”

  Nodding happily, I busy myself lacing them. They are perfect, just like the pair the Ditsworth girls had. My dad drives us across town to the roller rink.

  “Oh, bummer. They looked closed.” There’s not a car in sight.

  “Oh, surely someone is here,” he says, hopping out, undaunted by the vacant lot.

  I grab my skates and follow him. The door is unlocked but once inside we realize it’s probably not open because it’s dark. I can’t see a fricking thing past the front doors. My dad looks at me sadly.

  “It’s okay dad. Another time.” I punch him in the arm and turn to head back out into the warm summer sun.

  Suddenly, the lights come on. I spin around to find the entire skate floor filled with the whole gang. “Surprise!” they all yell together.

  I look at my dad with my mouth hanging open. “Dad,” I choke.

  “Happy eighteenth, baby,” he whispers in my ear as he hugs me.

  “You didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” I tell him wiping my eyes.

  Katie comes running up to us. “Happy birthday, Jesse!” she says excitedly, hopping all around us.

  “Did someone feed you jumping beans for breakfast?” I ask, laughing.

  “I’m just so excited!” She wraps her arms around me. “I’ve never been roller skating before,” she tells me.

  “I bet you’re going to be a natural.” I bop her on the nose before turning to accept all the birthday wishes from our friends who have gathered around.

  My gaze searches the group for two pairs of eyes. When I find them, I offer them the brightest smile I can muster. Raffe taps two fingers over his heart, giving me a sexy smile. My gaze slides to Dirk. His eyebrow is at an alarming angle. His tongue snakes out flicking his lip ring making my thighs clench on their own accord. God he makes me feel funny things.

  Someone grabs me from behind hosting me clean off my feet. “Goddammit, Dan,” I yell, slapping at his tree trunk sized arms.

  He chuckles in my ear.
“Happy Birthday, doll.” Dan sets me back on my feet turning me to face him. “I have a surprise for you. Come find me when this is over, yeah?”

  “Yeah, okay.” I smile and hug him tight.

  I find my dad sitting with my guys. Raffe is the only one lacing up a pair of skates. I sit next to him and get busy with my own. “Not skating?” I ask Dirk.

  He shakes his head no.

  “Party pooper, come on,” I beg.

  “I like my feet firmly on the ground. That’s why I have this guy to keep you company,” he drawls lazily, tossing a thumb out towards Raffe. He turns back to his conversation with my dad.

  Raffe winks at me and whispers, “He doesn’t know how to have fun.”

  As I finish with my laces I think about it. Dirk doesn’t know how to have fun. He is always serious, always business. He doesn’t even smile…he smirks but it’s not the same thing as a smile.

  Raffe rises from his seat and pulls me up with him. “I’m going to knock your socks off with my mad skills,” he tells me spinning in a circle.

  Together we take off and hit the rink. After a few laps, my muscle memory takes over. Raffe and I help Katie and soon she is doing great on her own. Everyone is having a great time. This was a perfect way to celebrate my birthday. It’s great family fun.

  My eyes wander to Dirk. Every time I glance at him he is watching Raffe and I with a look of longing on his face. After a while Raffe and I go our separate ways. I leave the rink and head over to Dirk. My dad and him both look up.

  “Having fun, baby girl,” my dad asks.

  I kiss him on the cheek. “The best. Thank you.”

  My eyes slide to Dirk. “What size shoe do you wear?”

  “I said no, Jesse.” He tries to intimidate me with his scary face.

  “I will help you. Come on. It’s my birthday and I want this more than anything in the whole wide world.” I stick my bottom lip out for affect and bat my eyelashes.

  My dad laughs. “Get your ass out there. My girl gets what she wants today. That’s an order.” He tips his beer towards Dirk.